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"She Was Riding His Navel Like There Was No Tomorrow" — 15 Of The Worst Sex Scenes Movie Fans Have Ever Been Subjected To

"It's like it was shot and choreographed by an alien whose only reference to human sexuality was softcore mags in the '90s."

Recently, u/Preposterous_punk asked the good people of r/AskReddit, "What movie sex scenes make you want to scream 'that's not how it works!'?" So, we thought we'd share some of the most-upvoted replies:

1. "In the movie Excalibur from 1981, there's a scene between a knight and a princess. The woman is completely nude on the bed. The knight is in full plate armour. The only bit of skin you could see on him was his face. He was 'thrusting' between her legs and acting like she was enjoying it."

2. "Every sex scene in The Room."

3. "Brokeback Mountain. They've been eating nothing but baked beans in the mountains for God knows how long, and you're telling me that with no preparation whatsoever they're going to have passionate, spontaneous sex?"

4. "Pretty much every movie with a sex scene where they finish and just roll right over and go to sleep. Where’s the cleanup?"

5. "Not a movie, but the sex scenes in Weeds always bothered me. They would make out for like two seconds and then the guy would go fully at it."

6. "The jacuzzi scene in Showgirls. Or maybe that was a realistic depiction of what it looks like to have sex with someone while they have a seizure in a hot tub."

7. "So many movies where the implication is that they just had sex, but they roll out of bed with underwear on. I mean it’s possible, but it’s not very likely."

8. "All softcore porn where it looks like the guy is humping her bellybutton."

9. "Like 90% of sex scenes are women on top, even though I’m pretty sure that’s not reflective of reality."

10. "They always omit the girl sitting on the toilet forcing herself to pee (to avoid a UTI), while the guy isn’t quite sure if he should be talking through the door."

11. "The sheer number of romantic sex scenes in movies where they are very slowly moving in sync the first time they sleep together as if they were mythical soulmates. Instead of, you know, awkwardly stumbling and laughing because new body new rules."

12. "Both people ALWAYS finish at the exact same time... THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS (usually, anyway)."

13. "Any time it's in a shower."

14. "Every movie where people check into hotels by just saying their name and being handed a key. A scary amount of people think it really works like this and have a tantrum if you ask for any more details or make the check-in process any more involved."

15. "Saltburn. You know the one."

Shout out to u/Preposterous_punk and r/AskReddit for having this discussion.

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.     

Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments below!